Gina & Walt...please pray for them...

We have gotten back home from Maui (as of last night) and I miss it again already...but that is the least of where my mind is tonight. I have just left a note on my friend Gina's blog for her...because she is not able to do it at this time...thanking everyone for the support and love they have offered in the most terrible of times.

Late...last Tuesday night...the 12th...in Maui...after a great day of fun and sun...G & Walt got the phone call that no one can imagine getting. An accident...two sons...one survived...one in the hospital...critical...Walt was a trooper on the phone and getting information and thank God that Heather was there to comfort Gina...she was a life saver that night. G was devastated...and I can not...I will not...even allow myself...to imagine it. To be in her shoes. But there it was...a reality for G...

I felt helpless...numb...dumbstruck....how could this happen? Damn....OMG....I can't even think about it...we sat up for hours....trying to let it sink in...and trying to be there for Gina & Walt. Surreal....

I am human...I sat wanting this to not be true for G...hoping there was a mistake...and selfishly thinking of my own children...one son whom is approximately the same age...and I get sick to my stomach...I can't wrap my brain around all of it...the...all...of it....and it hit me square in the face...the reality and finality of it all...

Walt & G were on a plane the next day...their trip cut short...a pivot in their lives...nothing will ever be the same again...this is a fundamental shift in a person's reality...forever...and it will someday be all right again...but it ain't ever gonna be OK.

It's weird because I wrote the lyrics for this song...awhile ago...maybe a couple years or more...about this very thing...and this very sentiment...and it just brought it all back. I'd like to share it with you...

It Is Gonna Be All Right ©

Chorus:

It will never be OK…but it is gonna be all right

Yeah It ain’t ever gonna be OK…but it is gonna be all right

1 .And when those moments happen…and all the darkness seems like it’s night
2. And in those momentous moments…and all the blackness shows no light
3. And if those moments happen…where your heart just don’t want to fight

It ain’t ever gonna be OK…but it is/you are gonna be all right

Verse:

In all my days and selfish ways taking for granted the life I own
I looked upon the path I was on and didn’t realize how I’d grown
And in a flash of crimson ash and blackness I’d never known
I got the call that ended it all as I dropped the phone like a stone

I thought I knew what hurt could do until I heard that you had died
I never knew the depth that grew from knowing you’d never be by my side

Verse:

If I’d known I’d be on my own and living life without you
I’m not so sure that I could cure the sinking feeling of despair which grew
But in the light that I’d be right if I learned to live with love anew
I saw the fact that I’d attract the life that God gave me in real truth

I can never be so clever as to pretend that I will be the same
My life has changed and rearranged my portrait in my tear stained frame

Bridge:

But we are the chosen ones who have to take the lead
To tell the luckiest ones if not for those who really have the need
To rise above and live with love that passes through our hearts
And mending all those broken lives by telling where our story starts



Gina & Walt...I wish nothing but the best for you both and my heart goes out to you. May God bless you both for all of your days.

Namaste

Soon now...

Soon...

Soon we are Hawaii bound...soon...

Soon we are Maui bound....my home away from home...I can wait brah...I can't wait.

I just keep breathing...waiting...wanting...trying to be patient...and having such a hard time...but it will be over soon...the waiting...and I'll be able to breathe...

I'm not sure what it is about Maui...there is something spiritual about the place...something sacred...and I feel free there...except for those moments when I think about having to come back...and so it goes...I keep listening to bruddah IZ...his high sweet tenor booming in my ears from my Ipod while he takes me away to the green wet humid island...and the tradewinds of the Pacific....and the voice of God on that wind...calling me home...it is more than just a vacation...

My job is still going pretty good...still very stressed there because of deadlines and just trying to do my best...still in a huge enormous learning curve...but it is good...I am just learning sooo much.

I miss playing...my musical life is stifled...and I feel strangled by the loss of it...but I am not sure I have the time or energy to do anything big about it at least right now...which makes me feel like I am letting myself down...but I also know I will find the time to jumpstart myself like I always do when anything else takes a lot of my time...and that part of my life suffers...I always come back to it...always...it is in my soul...I can not help it...it is a part of me...a part of who I am...if only....if only....

Dreams are funny things...careful what you wish for...and be careful of what you aim for...because you will most likely hit it...and you may not be too happy with where you end up...especially if you aim too low...I need to follow my own damn advice...

What's left? What is there now? What's next? It seems like...to me...I should be shooting for something bigger now...raising my sights...and then I have this other part of me...who wants to go to Maui...to the west coast...to visit Kihei...and see my old friend...the beloved and sacred isle...to let my heart sing again...

I can't wait to see my daughters enjoying the sand and sea...my wife stand on the beach where we were married again...the green lush tropics...and the sights of humpback whales....the tattoo shop...the sunset over the neigboring isle...and the dream...I can feel it calling already...come on Brah...it's nutting over heeyah...it is truly all....good.