2010 is rolling on...

I just read my last blog back...and it makes me swoon and become very tired LOL. Wow...life has just lost it's mind in 2010. Since that last blog...

Josh has a second surgery and he reports to us his Dr.s basically force him to have if by threatening to not treat him after he is released from the hospital. Yikes! The surgery is to remove the left Pleural Sack which surrounds the left lung. The reason is because he will not stop draining form the transplant. Draining like a liter a day...he had the surgery...and he kept draining. Damn.

We went to Hawaii for two whole weeks! Ahh....fun and sun in one of my favorite places on Earth...while Josh remains in the hospital and we still can't see him because after Heather got sick for round two....I got sick for round two. We couldn't be there for the surgery...still couldn't see Josh...I'm pissed. We relaxed...missed people...enjoyed each other...and did...basically...nothing...for a change. I got a new tattoo which is colorful, bright, and done by the same guy I got one from the last time I got ink in Kihei. But as nice as it was...the stress just wouldn't completely go away for me.

I have a birthday, we go and get back from Hawaii, Heather and I have an anniversary, and Josh has a third surgery...this time to remove the right pleural sack. Finally...he stopped draining...thank God!...it's about time. Still couldn't go to see him...I could bite nails in half....but he is finally healing...and he gets out. Harmony has a birthday...and I make an appointment to take my first test for my marriage and family therapy license.

Suddenly I am not feeling well...and I find a funny looking spot on my left shoulder...I go to an urgent care...I am starting to break out across my shoulder...and then it spreads to my back, neck, head, and face...I go to my work and asked them what do you want me to do? They say go to your Dr and get a note....OK. Everybody tells me I have shingles....GREAT!...and they don't know what the rest of the rash is...so here is a antibacterial...and an antibiotic...manOman...

Heather goes in for the amnio and sonogram and I go with her. Scary...but got her done...found out we are having...a boy!!! WooHoo!!!...a week or two later we find out that he is healthy and doing well...no bad stuff...Yeah!!!

Sarah says goodbye to the only daycare/preschool that she has ever known. Sarah has attended Delta College's Child Development Center since she was 3 months old. She also ended her time being watched at her friend Bella's house...and said goodbye to her beloved teachers.

On a good note we finally....FINALLY....get to see Josh and Bree! We go to them and visit at their apartment while we are picking up Jacob to bring him home after helping them out for a while...again. Yeah!

Heather meets Dr. #2....strike 2. Dang it.

I take my test...nervous...anxious...feeling unprepared even though I have been studying like crazy...and...I....fail....argh!!! I get through most of the test but do not get to the last 2 questions...I miss it by 7 questions total. Dang it! But God has a plan.

One of my oldest and best friends...writes me on Facebook and says...we are putting together a benefit concert for Josh....WooHoo!!!...and we want you to play....all right!...and headlining is your favorite guitarist Phil Keaggy....um....woah!....no way!...are you kidding me?!?!?....and there's one more thing...you get to play a jam with him at the end of the show...OK....now you're just messing with me LOL...I knew it....you had me going until that last part....play with Phil Keaggy LOLOL...yeah...right....No...Really....It will be in a 1,600 seat theater in Monterey...I sent him the recording of the song you wrote for Josh...no you didn't...He likes it...huh?....did you just say that Phil Keaggy has heard my music?....my playing?....AND he likes it??? um...I don't know what to say....Welp he is contributing to the cause as well...made a donation...WHAT?!?....woah...um...I just frankly don't know what to say...thanks?...Thanks! Woah....

Heather meets Dr. #3....finally someone that she can do this with! Yeah!!!

We go to Pismo for the 4th...have a great day...and a great visit with friends...except for a bottle rocket which came within inches of clipping Heather and Sarah while on the beach during fireworks...YIKES...

Next up...Sarah's birthday party...tomorrow...and Monday after next she starts kindergarten...gig is in September....the 16th....the Thursday right before the start of the Monterey Jazz Festival...woof! LOL...

To catch ya up...

Wow...what can I say...life is rolling hard and fast and it is a bumpy ride...I am just trying to hang on. Since my last post...Josh came out of ICU and his CO2 levels came down which helped his severe headaches...and eventually OKed being put on the list for transplant...turned 26 yrs old...and then got back out of the hospital. We started doing fundraising for Josh...

We went to a Magnet schools fair for Sarah for kindergarten...hopefully she will get in...crossing our fingers...

Then we found out Heather...my wife...is pregnant! Number 5 for me and 2 for her. Sarah our 4 year old will have a little sister or brother...due in September. Wow! Two sonograms later and we can see a sack...but no baby inside....welp...it is still early...we just can't see it yet says the Doc and the sonogram nurse...ManOman! Yikes...what is going on here? Finally...the 3rd sonogram...there they are (they meaning 1 baby....but not an "it")...the little peanut...and a flashing little heartbeat...this is real!

Then...the call came. Exactly 1 month after Josh's birthday he is on the table having his double lung transplant. He gets through the surgery...including having the surgeon stitch a whole in his heart closed....in his words....since he was in the neighborhood LOL...only took about 15 minutes he says....WOW!

Two days later my eldest son turned 28...but we were all too distracted...(for good reason)...to celebrate Jacob...we still need to do this...he was a major trooper in helping Joshua and Breanna (Josh's wife) post-op. Same day I also find out that I have had my hours accepted by the Board of Behavioral Sciences...so I am ready to start the testing faze...

The day after Josh's surgery...Sarah starts a little cough. Holy crap! She is sick and she can't be around him...and we can't avoid being around her...so we can't be around him either! Damn! She has a cold...she is sick for a week and as she is getting better...Heather gets sick. AAHHH!...double damn! As Heather starts getting better after a week...I get sick! AAAAHHHHHH!!! Aww Comeon!! This is killing me...

We call and find out Sarah didn't get into the Magnet schools we were hoping for...bummer....what are we gonna do for her because she starts kindergarten this summer...

We get a letter in the mail....Heather's OBGYN...the same we just saw with the little flashing heartbeat...talking about when he plans on taking the baby...the same Doc that delivered Sarah...Dr. E's last day at this practice is the 5th...the end of that week. What?!?

Find out Sarah did get into a charter school...we have to research it...this is after already getting her set up to attend the local public school...not the greatest of choices but at least she will be in somewhere.

I am at work and I hear a voice over the intercom describing a car that sounds just like mine and they say, "go to your car immediately"! I know this is bad...nothing good comes from these words LOL...sure enough...the passenger window is smashed...glass everywhere...I cut myself and get glass slivers trying to clean the glass out of the car...and almost $200 out of pocket to replace it...have a bad experience with making the police report...that sucked...the people stole our registration and insurance information...

Next up...Heather starts getting sick....again....as I am getting better...shaking head...MAN!

Josh...is still in Stanford....still draining from the surgery...still there...in a lot of pain...and having his pain meds reduced...and now...they want to do a second surgery on him...to remove the sack one of his lungs is in and scrape the inside of his chest to make the lung attach to the chest wall....so he will stop the drain. You have GOT to be kidding!?!?! Hasn't this kid been through enough?

Just to catch anyone up who might be interested LOL...I am tired. Next up? More medical adventures and fund raising...the hockey game with the Stockton Thunder...

And tomorrow...Heather goes to see the new Dr...the one we don't know...alone...because I can't go...this is the first time she has had to go to a Dr. appointment in 2 pregnancies where I will not be there....argh!

Babe...I love you...crazy life...never boring...whew....welp...breathe....there we are :)

First 2010 post...

So...a new year is upon us and here we are in 2010. I still feel the same way I did in my last post although I will say I have finished my 3000 hours for my license and gathered my paperwork, paid my money, and await the decision of the BBS (Board of Behavioral Sciences). What are they deciding? They are deciding whether or not I have completed everything needed in order to move forward and get on to the testing faze of this pursuit. If they write back and say yeaup!...you have done everything you need to do to test...then I will set up my first of two tests that I must pass to earn my license.

That is exciting stuff and I am relieved to be here at this point. I am hopeful that I will be allowed to pass and go forward to test. I know that something like this isn't everything in the world...but it sure would mean a lot to me. So here's to crossing fingers and toes...crossing my eyes as I look at my nose...and hopefully...get to move on to the next stage.

I still feel the same way as I did in the last post...maybe even more so...but I have not moved forward musically. I did see another orthopedist and he wanted to give me the same shot in the same hand...or do surgery. Hmm....scary...

I spent half of yesterday sitting in the ICU of Stanford because my son Joshua is in there. He is very ill and they are really putting pressure on him to make a decision about having a double lung transplant. His numbers are not good and he could use prayer and lots of it. Thank you if you have already been putting in time as one of his prayer warriors.

I will go back up to see him tomorrow...I hate...absolutely hate...watching what is going on with him...it makes me sick and feels like I am powerless to help...I know that's not completely true...attitude is everything...but it is very very...very hard to watch your child suffer and deteriorate...and not be able to fix his needs...even financially...because if he does have the transplant...he and his wife will need to live within 20 minutes of the hospital and not leave because of the possibilities of and logistics of getting to the hospital once there is a donor...which brings up the fact that he is waiting on someone else to die in order for him to live...I don't know how to feel about that...I know it is a natural process and we can't do anything about his deterioration on some level...but it is still a harsh reality.

There is a wide range of things that trouble me...my daughter who also has CF...and how is she feelings watching her big brother go through this and relating to it...and wondering about her future...and her health...my four year old daughter Sarah and how she will deal with this process as it progresses. My oldest son Jake who keeps his emotions buried so that he doesn't really have to deal with how he really feels about his brother and his sister and what is going on with each of them...my wife Heather and how all this affects her, knowing that it takes a huge toll...and my own feelings which are jumbled and strong...over the top and often sudden and out of nowhere. And all of this is the short and in my face list...not mentioning my job, our financial mess, my license pursuit, my feelings about my music, my stress, other family, friends, and on trying to find it's place in my attention and I am struggling with it all. So what now?


So here we are.