As the story unfolds...

Yesterday...I was told late in the day...after business hours...that I received a phone call from one of the other managers from my first interview from last week...asking to talk to me. I thought since I had interviewed a second time with another department...well....really....that it was kind of somehow decided that this manager who called me for the second interview was the only manager I had met from that first interview that was interested in me. Then I get this call from the other manager....

I was not able to call her back until today...and mid day at that...once I had taught my classes, picked up Sarah, picked up Heather...and the lot of us traveled to the Dr. office for Sarah because of an ear issue...I called and left a message and after maybe 20 minutes...if that...she calls back.

I was hoping it might even be an offer...nope...no such luck...she just called to ask if I was still interested in her department and if she could call my references......well...of course you may...by all means...please do....she tells me that she plans on having her decision by the middle of next week....sure! says me....thinking all the while about the first manager who told me this last Monday at the second interview...that she would try to get back to me by the end of this week...which leaves just tomorrow at this point...or to call her if I have not heard from her by Monday...

So...now...this leaves me with a weekend that will be fraught with wondering if it will go either way...which way...and do I have a choice in picking where I may "want" to go?...of course I know that situation may not even present itself...but apparently...I am in the running for both...which at least feels good...or will it come down to timing...hmm....I did tell the manager that I spoke with today...that I had done the other interview on Monday...and that manager had already called some of my references....so she asked if that would be my preference....to work with that population...and I said...well...no not really...I am open to anything right now...and I could go to either population...I am still very interested...and she says great! and then makes the comment about when she will reach her decision...oiy vay...nothing like being in limbo LOL...ahh vell...good stuff is coming...may God lead me as to what He wants for me...His will....I just wonder if I will get a call tomorrow...what to do if I do...man I can over complicate things easily...LOL...

It's hard though...in other ways...as I am teaching my classes...and running my groups...comments are being made to me...about me staying and being there for my clients and students...that I can't leave them....and it makes it a bit hard because I know that within the next month things might change...for me...and for them.

I have a training on Monday and Tuesday...for one of my jobs...which means I can not be at the other job and I have someone covering for me...and in telling people over the last two days...they were making sure it was just for that single day for them....and reassuring themselves and each other...that it is really only for one day...so it is OK....it is hard to hear those comments...knowing that in another 3-4 weeks that might change drastically....and they of course are not aware of anything right now...because I am still in the dark...and I don't know what will happen...I am just hopeful...

and so it is...and so it goes...

Life is funny...ya know?....things get crazy and I wonder what is right and what would I really want and prefer....and what will it be like...and what is right for me...which way will be better and how do you decide....or will things just fall into place and move in the direction that they should...so why put so much energy into worrying about it...because I can't do anything about it...not yet...and why worry about something that hasn't even happened yet...that seems so anti-productive...what a waste of my time, energy, and focus...when I could be focusing on something I am passionate about and need to be "in" within my life....it's better to focus in something that really matters...things that are truly important to me...regardless of how this thing goes for a job...live in my moment instead of the future...and what the future will bring...to live in my now...and focus my attention on that...right here....right now....

and on that note right there...I think I will...