Surreal...

I had a weird experience this week. It was just...surreal.

As I mentioned in the blog prior to this one I recently got a couple of traffic tickets and so they were due to be paid and taken care of this week. On my lunch from work Tuesday I went down to the court house to pay them and take care of business.

As I approach the building I see the police have the small parking lot next to the court house blocked off and as I get closer I see a glut of vans and trucks with tall antennas and every news logo you can imagine. I drive around to go to the back side of the building. That road is also blocked off and filled with more news crews. What is going on here?!? I have to travel another two blocks to go around to try to reach the parking structure...I go in, park, and start walking to the court house.

As I am approaching the building I am struck with the feeling that I am very close to the middle of something...something big. There is excitement in the air...the people are buzzing around and the photographers, both still and video, are lined up along the walkway as if there is an invisible red carpet laid out in front of my path. They are huddled in packs...shoulder to shoulder...and they have a hungry look in their eyes. I might have even seen one drool a little...not sure.

The good news is they are looking straight past me and I am very OK with that. This is an uneasy feeling. The air is heavy with anticipation and the crews are thick and ready. There are news reporters actually doing stories all around me...all three networks...locals...etc. talking into microphones and looking earnestly into cameras...answering questions from their anchors...it is about 12:05 and they are all broadcasting. As I walk up the ramp to the court house, to my left I see a small forest of video camera tripods standing in front of a large row of microphones...clearly there is going to be a press conference at some point...but the cameras are on shoulders and pointed in all different directions...moving and searching. There is anticipation in the air. They smell something coming.


I asked people to let me through because they were excited and adrenalin was pumping...there was a semi-politeness to it...they were not rude...but it was evident that they could be...and they appeared like blood hounds on a trail...alert...anxious...blood pumping...ready. I made it through with only being bumped into twice...and I realized why they were there.

I realized that today...that Tuesday...they were bringing in to court the woman they have arrested and accused of murdering that little 8 year old girl...Sandra Cantu...in Tracy. I hadn't thought about it when I left home that morning...or work just prior...that this was happening here this day. I just wanted to pay my traffic and brake light fines and go on about my business and day...I didn't know that I would get exposed to this...circus...this sick...negative...bloodthirsty gathering.

I make it to the security gate where I have to take off my belt, watch, and lanyard for work and empty pockets. As I get ready to go through the metal detector someone ahead of me is telling the security guard that, "if she really did it I hope that they kill her". I go through the metal detector and as I am retrieving my stuff from the other side I look up to my left and see Tim so and so from News 10 being hassled about his belt. I look up to my right and it is Mike Lesalle from KCRA News 3 coming through and putting his belt back on literally shoulder to shoulder to me. I am taking my time. These guys are in an all out hurry.

Then I look up and there is commotion and movement from outside. A lot of noise coming through and all the cameras are focused in one direction. There is pushing and shoving...yelling...the blood hounds are barking. Then I see what all the commotion is about. I see the Cantu family. I see the large man first...he is the slain girls uncle and he is trying to make a path for the aunt and the mom. There is a woman in a bright blue blazer with them. I recognize her but I can't exactly place the face. I thought because of the way she was dressed that maybe she was a lawyer. Later I realized...this was the mother of Shondra Levy...the intern who went missing and was eventually found dead. I am still pulling my belt on...looping it through my pants and feeling rather exposed by all the cameras and attention...I am in the background but I can feel the heat of it...and frankly...it is most unpleasant.

At earlier times in my life I dreamed of getting press attention for making movies...making music...cameras...reporters...my name in lights...but surely not like this. This...is...something quite different. Surreal. A month ago...the family of Sandra Cantu from Tracy was living their lives...unaware...blissfully unaware....that they would be facing this on this Tuesday.

I saw a couple of the 11:00 news reports and I saw the family...walking up the same path as I had just moments prior...I saw the uncle barking at the photographers because they were impeding their entry into the court house. They are not respectful...in the way they treat these people...they are doing their job...I understand that...but they are so hungry and thirsty for that shot that they get rude...disrespectful...and they lose their humanity and dignity...because of the frenzy...it is truly surreal.

I was surprised by several things but I think the thing that stuck with me...that affected me...was being that close to it. I see it on the TV all the time...news stories and journalists trying to get the shot or story...but that is the closest I have been to the actual...and I gotta tell ya...as an outsider looking in...I really felt bad for the family. Haven't they been through enough? It was weird.

May God be with them and all of us...and may we really look at why we do what we do.