What it all means...

Sooo...

Stockton....California...has been nationally....in the top 3 or so...and number 1 several times for over the past year...on the list of highest home foreclosures...as I said....in the nation...this town has one of the highest illiteracy rates in the entire country...probably because of being in the valley of growers and we have a high population of farm workers...many of whom are illiterate...then we recently get the news by some one's research (a big company like Forbes but I don't remember who it was exactly) and reporting...again nationally...that Stockton California is one of if not "the" unhappiest cities "in the nation"...and then recently...within the last week...I heard on the news that one of the high schools here in town (it happens to be the one I attended and sent 3 of my 4 children to) has one of the worst rates of graduation in the state...in...the entire state....and other high schools here in this city are not far behind it...with less than 50 %...average currently here in town at like a 46 % or below graduation rate...and then to top it all off...I hear on the news this last week...that this city is one of the most violent in the nation...within the top 3...THE TOP 3!....IN THE NATION!....

The news caster goes on...that means we are worse than Detroit........Philadelphia........etc. etc. and I am thinking now...hmm...things that make me go...Hmm...

My 25 year old son was hit in the face by a stranger outside a liquor store on this last New Years Eve...over like $1.30...because the person (read bum/loser/jerk@#%) asked for this odd amount as my son and daughter-in-law went in and again as they went out...and then as my son came out...this....person...sucker punched him....from behind...like the coward he is...as hard as he could...coming from in back of and behind my son, splitting my son's lip and causing his teeth to come through below his lower lip and needing a host of stitches...inside and out...all this in front of his wife.....he then ran away. He was caught quickly...the perpetrator was prosecuted on a reduced and lesser charge than the aggravated assault and battery that it was...to a simple battery...a misdemeanor...after causing fairly serious and permanent injury to my son...who already has Cystic Fibrosis and spends a good deal of his time on oxygen from a tank (although he wasn't using it at that particular moment)......so that the D. A.'s office can process it quickly, easily, and unencumbered. There are too many people out at the county jail and they are routinely letting people out to release the congestion. The same for our prisons. I know this from having been a facilitator for 3 years of court ordered domestic violence and anger management classes. This is the reality we live in.

The D.A.'s office tells my son that the attorneys don't want or need to talk to him or his wife...the witness to the crime...no need...they will call if the D.A. needs to talk to them and BTW please do not come down here and try to talk with anyone or come to court...no need...no need for going after a felony either BTW...even though there is a permanent scar on my son's face...even though a police officer taking their statements on the scene told them that they had caught this same guy doing this same thing to someone else at an earlier date...and that person refused to file charges (probably out of fear). So he was back out on the street and able to do it again...this disgusts me.

The guy spent 30 days or less in the county jail...and then he will most likely have to do a 16 week program...just like or maybe even the same one's I used to teach...and probably pay fines...and that will be it....except for one little problem...this whole insane thing happened because this jerk was panhandling for a buck thirty...Do you think he will pay his restitution? I do not. The county...will never get their money.

I counseled folks like this for three years and I can not even tell you how many times I listened to grown adults talk about not needing to take responsibility...because they can skirt the system and get away with it...and they laugh about it...it is a joke to many of them because they know the game...and I promise you folks...from someone that has worked inside that system...it is a game. It is not about justice...it is about numbers. I tried my best....to make a difference in the lives of the people I counseled...and some of them told me that I did exactly that. But I could not get to everybody...and I can not make anyone else change. I did what I could in the 3 years I worked in that system...I tried...and succeeded...at least to some degree.

Then I think about the shooting right outside my home less than two years ago...50 feet from my bedroom. My car took a bullet....which was headed into my neighbor's children's room if it hadn't hit my car...and my neighbor's car took a bullet....which was headed into my brother's bedroom if it had not hit their car...and a young man took a bullet and lay in the street across the street diagonally from my house. I heard that he was paralyzed from the ribs or waist down. June will be two years ago. I blogged about it then.

http://docsdoxology.blogspot.com/2007/06/911what-is-your-emergency.html

What's more...only about four months after that...I was very near another shooting while doing my domestic violence and anger management classes at work. Praise God no one was injured in that one but it happened as a drive by...they sprayed one of my group member's car with bullets...13 to be exact...I counted...and there were people on the porch in front of the house that the car was parked at and children around in the neighborhood. I blogged about that one too.

http://docsdoxology.blogspot.com/2007/10/bang-bang.html

So with all that stuff running around in my head...I am thinking...dang...I don't want to raise Sarah in this mess. Who's afraid of Compton, south central, or Harlem? I have heard that some of the tough guys from south bay...around San Jose area...where gangs run rampant...are afraid to come up into Stockton...because they know it's the real deal here.

My brother calls a couple weeks ago with a business idea. Good idea I tell him...something on order of an idea we have discussed for years. But he wants to do it here. Yikes. I tell him how I am feeling and we have a long discussion.

I don't want to have another incident happen to one of my family. My son that was attacked and his wife are leaving and while that is very hard for Heather and I we are also jealous because we want to move towards the coast ourselves. I want to raise Sarah in a place where this cute, fun, very smart and talented girl will thrive...and not just exist. But it just isn't that simple. No matter how much we might want to get out of here...we don't exactly have a support network anyplace that we might go to...so we will mostly be on our own...and we don't want to get too far away from any of my kids...not to mention the finances for doing something like that. It feels as if...no matter which way we go...there is a piece of something that we will have to leave behind...and it will be a hard financial road to get there.

This has been my home. All of my life...I was born here...I grew up here...buried my father here (so to speak)...I had my own children here...got married here...the first time at least LOL...the second time around I got smarter. I asked myself...why NOT get married on a white sandy beach...in Hawaii? I couldn't think of an answer! Heather couldn't think of an answer! So that is exactly what we did!

We were even blessed enough to have another couple with us...good friends...that were able to share the experience with us. Then a year later we did it all over again with all my kids and both our moms and Heather's step-dad and other friends and family in attendance at a beautiful B&B in Point Reyes...all of this was April 28th (Maui) and April 29th (Point Reyes) 3 and 4 years ago respectively. Our anniversary...the 28th of April...was chosen because that signifies the day we actually met...11 years ago. Tomorrow. This...has been quite and adventure.

So tomorrow H and I will make it officially 11 years...and in that time we have had real ups and real downs...but we have stayed strong through it all...even in the nation's most foreclosed, illiterate, drop out ridden, depressed, and dangerously violent places in these United Stated.

Between us there are four amazing people that we have been blessed by being able to call them our children, a home, 3 master's degrees, careers, a growing photography business, music, art, web sites and blogs, and more blessings and memories than we can count.

Maybe...someday...we will be able to make a leap...a leap of faith...and who knows what will come from it...but I bet...no matter what...it will be a great adventure...and create fantastic new memories...and hopefully...God willing...lead us to an even better example to the people that we come in contact with in our lives.

Babe...I love you.
Happy anniversary.
May the next 11 years be even more rewarding and may the 11 years after that raise the bar even further.
May we always strive to be better people, better parents, and better citizens of the world.