911...what is your emergency?

OK...so...last night...we ended up with a brand spankin new bullet hole in our car...and blood on our street from a shooting.

Heather, Sarah, & I went for a long drive and had a great time...went to the beach and drove along the coast...took a few pictures and a little bit of video of Sarah on the beach freezing...watched wind surfers and people surfing with these really cool kites strapped to their bodies...it was fun...and we all had a great time and a great day.

We pull up into town at 1:00 AM (later than we would have wanted but still having a good time w/Sarah asleep) having traveled from Santa Cruz to Santa Rosa...and as we pulled up to our street we noticed a large party going on at a corner house close to our own. There were spinning colored lights and tons of people (at LEAST 50) inside and outside with cars going half way down the block...but I didn't hear any real noise so we went home gathered the Sarah Bear and our things from the car and went on inside.

Being very tired we all went straight to bed. About 2:30AM we awoke to the sound of rapid fire gunshots going on very (read...way too...maybe 50 feet) close to our house. Yelling, chaos, car lights shining, and the gunfire woke all of us up including the baby. I recognized it as gunfire right away...about 15 shots in rapid fire succession and then people shouting. I ran out of bed for the phone and immediately called 911 to report as Heather scooped up the baby and headed for Harmony's room towards the back of our house. As I wrapped up the call I told Heather and the girls to get on the floor and the gunfire started all over again...this time approximately 10 - 12 shots and more yelling, chaos, and people running. I watched people dashing into backyards and trying to get away. I heard a woman screaming. I saw at least two people limping trying to get away. I called 911 again. I reported...they took the info...and then they put me on hold...waiting...waiting...I watched through the window as one car drove away...and another drove up...pulled into a driveway directly from my house and dropped neighbors off across the street...they ran huddling into their doorway...trying to get into the house as quick as possible. Whomever dropped them off left as quickly as they could. Maybe three minutes after I heard a siren. The law enforcement folks caused more people to try to scatter and I watched someone run up the driveway of my next door neighbors and Heather heard him climbing fences. We found a chair out of place in our back yard the next day (out by our back fence)...obviously the persons route through our yard and into someone elses.

Then another cop shows...and a third...then an ambulance and a fire truck...the chaos has changed into chaos with officials in charge now...I put a shirt and shoes on...turned on a light in my house and my porch light...and grab my keys and wallet and head out to talk to the cops...since I called them. I gave information to one and watched paramedics working on someone laying in the middle of the street...right across the street from my next door neighbors house. Glass covering the ground next to him beneath the car whose window had been shot out, blue and red lights dancing off of glass and metal, men working furiously to prepare the victim for the ride to the hospital. Surreal. Disturbing. What a waste. What the hell?!? I asked the cop if he would live and he said, "oh he'll be alright...don't worry about it"...and I knew...it was his way of saying...nothing to see here...on your way now as he walked away from me...

I heard from a neighbor the next morning the man didn't live...although I have no idea how accurate that information is...no news in the paper yet...


We live in a middle class neighborhood...usually quiet...neighbors are polite and friendly...average by all standards...older homes...decent value to the neighborhood...we do not live in "the hood"...I've spent a fair amount of time in "the hood" when I was a teenager...and this...is not "the hood"...but last night...and bullet holes in my car and my next door neighbors car this morning....the hood came to my block...

I grew up two doors down from where I currently live...my mom and brother still reside in that home...we bought two doors away...and in all my years in this area apart from the 7 years I lived elsewhere...this is the only time I have ever seen this kind of violence on my street...at my home...with my children asleep in my home. My brother called from two doors away when it all went down and said that he had called the cops around 12:30AM because there were 30 - 40 people gathered in front of his house...half a block away from the party...yelling and making noise...drinking...being...well...what people are when they are partying...and young...in the middle of a wild Saturday night...

I am pissed off...because of the carelessness of it...because of the disregard for others...and the babies here...ours is not the only child within a two to three house area here...because of the disrespect...the absolute unequivocal disrespect...and lack of self-respect of the people involved...but mostly...at this point...I am most pissed off about the absolute feeling of helplessness. I am not helpless...far from it....but when someone gets shot...almost right in front of my own house...in the middle of the night...I feel helpless. Especially when the police were called 2 hours before the shooting...and told of the behaviors and crowd gathered...at that time of night...and the cops never came to see...never showed up...had they shown up...that young man might not have gotten shot...might still be alive.

Helpless...sick...disrespected...that's how I feel...

I know it happens every day...as a therapist/counselor I run 8 court ordered domestic violence groups per week at a local agency here in this town. I deal with my guys coming to group having this type of thing happen in their lives all the time because many of them do live in "the hood". I am fully aware of the pain and burden that those folks are living with...and I am sick about it when they come in talking about the funerals, shootings, wakes, drive-bys, parties, and senseless violence that they endure every day.

But it really doesn't matter where one lives does it? The level of disrespect in this country is amazing to me...it is as high up as the White House and as low down as the streets and I am consistently amazed at the lack of integrity and self-respect of the people in our "advanced" society.

The truth is...that we are OK with it...not all of us are...because some of us are trying to "DO" something about it...I know I am...but many of us are complacent...and because of NIMBY (not in my back yard) we accept that the disrespect shown to people is acceptable because it isn't affecting us.

It is time...it is time to take a stand and have personal integrity...self-respect...and deal with these problems at the level that they exist...in our homes. As parents...and as neighbors...let these young people know...it ain't gonna happen on my watch...not on my watch...

Because somewhere...somehow...someday...we are all accountable...both for the things we have done...and for the things we have not done...

So I say...not on my watch...it ain't gonna go down like that on my watch...not if there is anything I CAN DO about it...not on my watch.